C'est beau....

I'm not sure how much I'm infringing copyright laws here, but I find this picture published by the guardian today seemingly depicting Gordon Brown attempting to neck Nicolas Sarkozy, simply beautiful,

That however is not the main topic of my blog, I will however be staying in France. Anybody who follows European Politics will be aware that this week marked the re-election of Bertrand Delanoe as 'Le mayor de paris'(That's Frenglish for The Mayor of Paris). The left wing Delanoe, who was re-elected with 58% of the vote has also been tipped to face Sarkozy in the 2012 Presedential race.

The effect of this election however, as many people have pointed out, is not confined simply to paris, but also to the French government and, some say, our own. The election of a Socialist Party candidate to the position is a snubbing of right wing Sarkozy, with the left taking more votes than the right across the whole country, a reversal of last years presedential elections.

Could this pattern then, foreshadow the upcoming London Mayoral elections? I'm not so sure, in my last post, I called the British public undiscerning, however, I'm still not sureif they are so desperate as to vote for Mr Johnson. The Anti-Boris Johnson group on Facebook, has well over 1000 members in just a few weeks (Who ever said that the youth were politically disengaged?), and some of the sentiment is strong.

I also don't believe that the British are anywhere near as intolerant as the French, and this French intolerance is far from a bad thing, it's merely a no nonsense approach to everything. When the French are annoyed by something, they get rid of it, sometimes they're a little Rash about things ( Rainbow Warrior - 1985),

and sometimes, as in this case, in the true spirit of democracy.

What I think the Mayoral election will be won on is what all elections these days seem to be won on, the media. Boris Johnson has a very large media presence, and I hope it'll be his bigoted remarks (The section on his Wikipedia entry entitled 'Controversies' consists of 12 sections) that are remembered over his appearences on Have I Got News For You. If you can't remember any of them, here's a small reminder...

On the people of Papua New Guinea: "orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing"

His Beautifully eloquent and respectful remarks on Ken Bigley: The people of Liverpool are wallowing in "vicarious victimhood" and that many Liverpudlians had a "deeply unattractive psyche"; and also refused to accept responsibility for "drunken fans at the back of the crowd who mindlessly tried to fight their way into the ground"

And on Portsmouth: "one of the most depressed towns in Southern England, a place that is arguably too full of drugs, obesity, underachievement and Labour MPs"


I can see why the British public would want this kind and sensitive gentleman to run the capital.

Yours

Sir Boris Humphrey.

You can get it if you REALLY want.

It’s my first blog post in a while, I have a terrible sore throat and a mug of coffee, it’s 5:45am(as I write this), on a dreary day in early spring, I’m making the dreary bit up as I really can’t be arsed to look out of the window. One thing I do know however, is that I’m awake before the birds, and I have a strange urge to open my window and sing really loudly until they all wake up and give them a taste of their own medicine, they're very bloody inconsiderate.Today signals my being 3 days into my new routine of early(ish) nights and earlier mornings, which I have undertaken in the hope that I’ll become more productive, all I’ve experienced so far, has been the overwhelming sense of fatigue about 3 hours before most people even begin to think of going to bed.

I could well be at spring conference this weekend, and indeed, I wish I was, especially after Gordon Brown made an absolutely riveting speech, effectively calling the Labour party to arms, I may be exaggerating, but is it still just too little too late? Although the tories did fall one point in a YouGov poll this week, they’re still seven points ahead of Labour, and Mr Brown must be, for want of a better phrase, bricking it. People can make out we have it all under control as much as they want, but when you look at the facts and figures, a fourth term for Labour looks out of the question. Call me a pessimist, but if you can say ‘Labour have it covered’ without an ounce of doubt in your mind, you’re an idiot. It’s a sad state of affairs, and I wish I wasn’t saying it, I really do...really…

There is however one question, nay, one word which springs to mind, it goes something like this…

“Why?”

Let me elaborate. Why in their right mind, on current policy, would the British public choose the Tories over Labour? They are less discerning than I thought, which means on a scale of discerningness(that may not be a real word) from 1-10, they’re on about a 0.5, which doesn’t even appear on a scale of 1-10. They would like to, in their own words might I add, ‘cut benefits for people who won’t work’, obviously a party all about social responsibility and consideration, because it really is that simple. They advocate an end to ‘reckless borrowing’, Stamp duty and Inheritance tax yet they aim to increase the basic pension rate and NHS spending. The British public obviously believe that David Cameron is part of the magic circle. I would further scrutinise Conservative policy here, however, they only have about three.

Oh, and did I mention, that ‘you can get it if you really want’. When I say ‘it’, I mean you can become a ‘Friend of the conservatives’ and when I say ‘if you really want’, I mean if you’re a gullible fool. I’ll hand you over to somebody who knows more about it...Mr David Cameron...(He’s crazy don’t you know)...

http://www.youtube.com/swf/l.swf?video_id=U_tCG9ZQ4_w

Surely I wasn’t the only person who laughed at “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna dress up as a gangster, rah rah”. Again this is another all style, no substance ploy from the Conservatives, which I could have summarised into a few seconds of content as follows.

“Davey C here, we’ve got Facebook, Bebo and Myspace, along with some hip new director who made some gangster film that you hip young kids like, brap brap! I’m off to listen to Crazy Rascal!”

After suffering through that video, I’m fairly sure you’ve lost all faith in the human race, so on that note, I shall leave it.

Respect
Sir Humphrey G
BRAP!

Treasury Tighten Security...

The treasury today revealed images of its brand new security system...

Reports abound of Alastair Darling, who made a school boy error this week when he inadvertently lost 25 million records in the post, containing bank details, names, addresses and birth date. That's the Royal Mail for you. Aside from my biterness about the recent postal strikes actually costing me money, what the hell was Mr Darling's department doing sending CDs like that through the post, in fact, what was he doing sending them anywhere anyway?

Even this begs the question, does the security at the treasury stretch any further than a 'CD jewel case'. We can hope that the CDs were lost, never to be seen again, perhaps in the same way as some unfortunate civil servant's career, when the inevitable finger of blame is pointed.

Naturally however, as a Labour member, the party has my full support.

Sir Humphrey.

Libel, Damned Libel and bloggers.

The current trend of MPs and other political figures reading and following blogs has led to many controversies. Normally involving a certain Guido Fawkes, a man after my own heart *AHEM*.

The latest in a series of controversies is the war of words between Alex Hilton AKA Recess Monkey, and Tory MP Nadine Dorries.

When Mr Hilton posted a screenshot of Mrs Dorries' daughter's Facebook page, highlighting her use of the word 'Nigga'. Mrs Dorries was unhappy, and posted a reply which may well be the single most irritating thing I have ever read.

She immediately discredits herself by getting it wrong...

"A comment on my daughter’s site had been left by one of her best friends Chido Kawunda."

Actually....it wasn't...it was a direct quotation, written by Ms Dorries herself.

Secondly, apparently "the issue is now on it’s way to Simon Smith at Schillings"...I just don't understand where she's coming from on this one, an immature, poorly thought out rebuttal.

Thirdly, "I suppose one wouldn’t expect anything else from the researcher of a Labour MP. It makes you wonder what kind of MP employs a person who spends his day going through Facebook accounts. Is this done on a Parliamentary computer I wonder"...meow...straight from the mouth of a woman who has been found guilty in the past of incorrectly using parliamentary resources(Here).

And last but not least..."It is not lost on me that he chose to highlight the Facebook account of my 22 year old daughter. However, has he been through the Facebook accounts of all of my girls? One of them is only 15 – and if he has – there’s a word for people like you Alex." Because our 22 year old Ms Dorries is a responsible adult, Mrs Dorries, very irresponsibly throws her 15 year old daughter into the limelight before accusing Mr Hilton of pedophilia, this is the blogging equivalent of headbutting a fist and accusing them of punching you, if I were him, I'd be sending the matter to 'Simon Smith at Schillings'.

And, as pointed out by one astute reader of Recess Monkey, "Has anyone told Christian Mad Nad that her daughter is apparently into woman and men?"


Yours

Sir Humphrey.